have a perfect day

Hello

2007-06-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

Have not blogged for a long time.

TT???

2007-04-18T22:36:00.000+08:00

Planned to play table tennis yesterday. Woke up brimming with excitement in anticipation of a game. Even the jam at PIE could not dampen the mood. Then realised that there was a lack of venues for table tennis at Sengkang, Punggol, Hougang, Kovan etc...... (MM thinks that Li Jiawei did something really wrong and the authorities are clamping down on the sport)

But seriously, I had fun walking and complaining as we searched for a venue. Table tennis can be played any time but how often do u get to walk around, sweating and slugging it out with 3 good friends???

Had dessert at "Wei Xiang Yuan" (not Wei Xiang's garden but translated as taste wonderful garden) then lunch at Qi Ji where the nasi lemak was rather tasty. Got accused of being a BS here and almost lost someone to the ZZZ monster

MM had to drag her textbooks around and the pages were stuck together.

Checked out the PDA phones and found the XDA atom life appealing. But the price was repulsive. Shopped around Metro for ties and ladies' shoes. Many of the heeled ones were of a horrific length while others looked like they were ment for ah mahs or tai mahs. It did not help that flowery looking decorations were a recurring theme. Obviously MM had enough sense to reject all of them

SK walked into a glass panel ... or rather half a panel. There was a sudden and SK appeared glued to the panel. Although Aa tried to help, (from my view)it looked as though Aa was trying to push him deeper into the glass.

Shall not elaborate on the sight of the granny sniffing men's underwear on sale

Ended the day at "Chomp chomp" with dinner. The prawn noodle soup was "solid" but laden with MSG. Tried the satay bee hoon, fried carrot cake and char quay teow. The highlight was the giant drink of soya bean and chin chao that 4 of us shared

Shd have seen the drink stall auntie's contorted (tong kor)face when Aa asked for a drink combination of longan and chin chao.

(Sk almost tripped while packing food. I caught him in the midst of regaining his balance)

Jokes
What do you call a man with Parkinson disease who shaves?
Ans: Nick

Why will there only be two pallbearers at my funeral?
Ans: Because a garbage can only has 2 handles.

Cities

2007-04-18T22:00:00.000+08:00

Went to Vivo City and had lunch with Aa and Sk at food republic. Felt a bit cheated because the curry rice stall did not put out the curry concentrate for customers. Fortunately I told the uncle to "lam" more "carly zhup"

We caught sight of the filming venue for some baby show on channel U.

Then wondered round the CD shop, insulting this particularly lousy singer. (shall not say who in case the organisation she belongs to sets fire to my house)

Confirmed my complete lack of aptitude for computer games at the Samsung gadget center. Aa's talents were put to good use on racing cars and ancient people whereas SK was completely fascinated by some glass making programme.

Zipped down to Suntec where we collected travel brochures and utilised the cheapo $5 NYDC voucher for another mudpie. Then we had a competition to see who was the messiest eater (ki chui gui).

SK took the lead then lost it to Aa. I was a distant second

The champion's mess: Aa

Mine:

SK:

Joke:

An old lady took her dog to the vet.
He said:" I can tell that there is something seriously wrong with your dog just by looking at its stools."
"Is it because they are a strange colour?" she asked.
"No" said the vet. "It's because they are comming out of it's ears"

Where's the updates

2007-04-18T21:39:00.000+08:00

Oops, have not updated this blog for a long time

Firstly, a gentle reminder to get a copy of the album of the year. Even animals like koala bears love the album.

Does SK have a food stall?

Joke
What did the blonde owl say?

Ans: Huh? Huh? (instead of hoot hoot)

Ni Guang MTV

2007-03-15T20:54:00.000+08:00

3.15日孙燕姿逆光MV完整清晰版在线独家首发欣赏+下载收藏
http://tel.fivecity.com/viewthread.php?tid=9108

THE ABOVE IS THE LINK TO NI GUANG MTV

Ni Guang Ad

2007-03-10T14:42:00.001+08:00

Doughnuts

2007-03-10T13:20:00.000+08:00

Queued up like an idiot for 3+ hrs for doughnuts from Doughnut Factory. I was among the first 10 and yet...

So I bought 24 of them...

And invited SK over to try them!!! ( he tried the apple crumble flavoured one and declined more due to weight and dinner approaching issues)

JOKES

What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a railway track?
Ans: 3 pieces of crocodile.

Two cows were chatting in a field. The first said :" I was artifically inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you" said the other.
"It's true, no bull" replied the other cow

2007-03-10T13:13:00.000+08:00

2007年的这一道光, 我逆着光, 即使痛得刺眼…
却看見了希望, 看見了爱我的人, 看見了我爱的人...

This year's NO 1

2007-03-10T12:59:00.000+08:00

逆光專輯曲目
01. In The Beginning
02. 逆光
03. 夢遊
04. 咕嘰咕嘰 (Guchi Guchi)
05. 我懷念的
06. 安寧
07. 飄著
08. 愛情的花樣
09. 漩渦
10. 需要你
11. 關於
12. Afterward

After exams

2007-03-10T12:15:00.000+08:00

Went out after the terrible MB paper (as usual) lugging free boards given by 3M. So tin teh

Decided on Thai Express.(again) The soft shell crab gave me a bad rash surrounding my lips. They "expanded" to twice their length, as if their present length was not enough. I bet MM and SK were too nice to tell me on the way home. Fortunately the rashy area peeled off after I used my Skin Conditioning Gel. (Its just extract of aloe vera etc, and no Aa, I do NOT put on makeup/mascara/foundation/cucumber slices)

They were also very generous with their chicken portions but very stingy with their servings of rice.

Walked around Raffles city and sat outside the cinema chatting for a while as there was nothing nice to watch. I had learnt from the "Stranger than Fiction" movie incident never to buy tickets on impulse

Then we ended up at NYDC where I could finally utilise my cheapo $5 voucher for some Grandma Goes Nuts mudpie

Aa thought that he was the messiest eater because he had 3 drops of mud pie on the table but take a look at my tissue and estimate how much I had dropped all over the place

Good friends being cruelly separated at NYDC... by a file

Jokes
3 friends decided to sneak into the Olympic village hotel. The first grabbed a small sapling, stripped off the branches and roots, walked up to the registration counter and said :" Wang Ming, China, javelin." The service staff gave him a room key and wished him good luck.
The second grabbed a manhole, walked up to the counter and said:" Jim Rhodes, Australia, discus." Likewise, he too was admitted.
The last friend, a blonde, apeared at registration holding a roll of barbed wire under her arm. She said :" Jenny Foster, USA, FENCING."

Happy new year

2007-02-17T11:00:00.000+08:00

Have a happy new year!

Pneumothorax

2007-02-17T10:56:00.000+08:00

Oh Dear, LCM is in the hospital for pneumothorax.

And I was laughing at him ( I was not the only one )when he claimed that his back hurt when he hit himself in front. Sorry ><

Maybe laughing at the pinkish garment exacerbated the pneumothorax?

Have a speedy recovery anyway. (Don't sing like B S anymore)

Last day of school...

2007-02-15T22:44:00.000+08:00

...But the first day of exams will come soon.

Went out with MM and LCM who crashed the lecture today with shoes suspected of being bought from a certain store.

Acted like a pig during lunch and had hokkien mee + mango pudding + soya bean. Someone kept asking srange questions like :" Why do you cut the pudding ino smaller pieces? Why don't you wait for the ice to melt before eating? Why must we visit people during the new year?"

Went to Kino and saw stranger books like the one below

Finally had rather yummy mudpie and weird pinkish lychee and pineapple drink. The tissue became like that after I had to wipe all the chocolate off my mouth. (Looks like something else)

Jokes

What do you get if u cross 2 snakes with a magician?

Ans: Addercadabra and abradacobra

金猪欲孽

2007-02-14T18:28:00.000+08:00

This is the very silly version of War and Beauty. Enjoy!

Ep1

Ep2

Ep3

Ha ha ha. So funny

Gaffles

2007-02-12T19:57:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time. In future when my NEW tagboard gets up and running, I shall remember to shamelessly tag myself frequently to prevent it's cruel swallowing.

Fortunately, sch ends early this week and "holidays" are interspersed in between too.

There should be a "parkarting" (ganging up) in Sam and SK's blogs to write about the gaffles that a single friend X made.

Time:9+am
Friend X : Aeh, can spiders fly? A spider was flying here and there in my house but I could not find its web.

Time:1+pm
Friend X : CPF can be used to pay for a car or not?

Jokes: Still need jokes meh, the above quite funny what.

A man went into a pharmacy and asked for anal deodorant
" We don't stock anal deodorants, in fact, there's none of that around" said the pharmacist,
"But I bought it from your store just last month!" the man protested
The pharmacist was puzzled "Fine, why don't you bring in your empty bottle and I'll try to match it up?"
The next day, the man handed the pharmacist the empty bottle. The label on it read "TO USE, PUSH UP BOTTOM"

Sitting in the toilet, a man discovered when it was too late that there was no more toilet paper. (Hah! sounds like someone we know had been there and exhausted the last 50 squares) So he called out to the person beside the cubicle:" Hey, do you have any toilet paper in there?"
"Sorry, no"
"How about tissues?"
"Sorry, no"
"How about newspaper? Could you spare me one piece?"
"Sorry, I don't have any newspaper"
Fustrated, the man said:" OK, how about giving me 5 $2 notes for my $10?"

Chilli burns

2007-01-13T17:44:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, 2 of my friends complained that the "Dan Dan" noodles from the Enclave gave "shigella like diarrhea with burning sensations." (what a quote). Hence in the joke corner, I shall add definitions on the different ways excrement can leave the body. I apologise for the frequency of the words "shit" and "asshole" appearing below and would like to assure everyone that they are not and will never be part of my normal vocabulary.

Also, I enjoyed the table tennis game yesterday. Finally I can return MM's nasty spins. Also, I succeeded in smashing too!

Jokes:

Ghost Shit
You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Shit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Shit
You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Shit
You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Shit
This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks Shit
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.

Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!

Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.

Snake Shit
This shit is fairly soft and about as thick as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Szechuan Food Shit (also called Screamers) --***
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.

Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle
The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in

The Bungee Shit
The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Shit -- ***
The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler
The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber
The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car/bus/MRT in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Shit
The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper
The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Shit
The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange corner

Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Shit
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit.

Oh Shit! Shit
You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!

The Never Ending Shit
It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Ouch That Hurt Shit
The type of shit that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.

Of friends and farts

2007-01-11T19:10:00.000+08:00

Today I had lunch with 3 anonymous friends. As we were waiting for the lift, person A touched a pole that we believed was contaminated with VRE. As the discussion went on, the topic turned to farts and person A (who by now desperately wanted to sterilise his/her hand and refused to contaminate any belongings of his/hers) asked casually :" When you fart, isn't there water coming out?"

Everyone was shocked. Thus, I shall post some definitions about farts in the joke corner. However, the list does not include wet farts so the affected person should seek help elsewhere.

Jokes:

The Vain Person -- One who loves the smell of his own farts.
The Amiable Person -- One who loves the smell of other people's farts.
The Proud Person -- One who thinks his farts are exceptionably fine.
The Shy Person -- One who releases silent farts then blushes.
The Imprudent Person -- One who boldly farts out loud, and then laughs.
The Unfortunate PersonOne who tries hard to fart, but shits instead.
The Scientific Person -- One who farts frequently, but is truly concerned for the environment.
The Nervous Person -- One who stops in the middle of a fart.
The Honest Person -- One who admitted he farted, but offers a good medical reason.
The Dishonest Person -- One who farts but blames the dog.
The Foolish Person -- One who suppresses a fart for hours and hours.
The Thrifty Person -- One who always has several farts in reserve.
The Anti-Social Person -- One who excuses himself and farts in complete privacy.
The Strategic Person -- One who conceals his farts with loud coughing.
The Sadistic Person -- One who farts in bed and then fluffs the covers over his bedmate.
The Intelligent Person -- One who can determine from the smell of his neighbor's fart, precisely the latest food items consumed.

Teachings

2007-01-08T21:53:00.000+08:00

I am glad I went for MDC today cos the speaker from outside was showering all present with gems of knowledge and conduct.

All that came after a trip to Maxwell market for lunch where stalls like "Wonderful" - Wang De Fu in mandarin, "Sweet heart" dessert stall and 69 tea house?! existed

Should you like Fuchou ball noodles, be prepared to get only one miserable Fuchou ball. Also, never retain any bowl or plate to spit seeds, etc because the uncle there does not like any component of the set of plates to go missing.

Jokes

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby. The first one stopped and took a pill.
"What was that?" The others asked her.
"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy."
A few minutes later, another woman took a pill."
What was that?" the others asked.
"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."
They continued knitting until the third woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked her. "It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this sweater!"

Happy new year

2007-01-01T23:18:00.000+08:00

Happy new year to you!

Yes 933 held its annual tally of music chart results over 2 days. It was a little disappointing cos Stefanie Sun only managed a 2nd position, trailing Jolin Sai by 50 points. (Ok, that's quite incredible considering that she has no new album this year but still...I think her fans should have voted for First Day. Had we done so, Jolin would not have been No 1)

"Rainy Day" though was the champion song for the year with 201 points, suppressing Wang Li Hom's "Kiss Goodbye" by 10 odd points. It's still on the charts at No 10. Must keep it going...

"Rainy Day" also came up top in the "Top 100 chart" that ranked songs based on their airplay & dedication frequencies as well as chart scores. Wang Li Hom really kissed goodbye to the top spots but I hope he'll do a little better next year

Don't expect any mercy from us next yr when Stefanie releases her new album! ( And I missed out the "T" above on purpose)

Jokes:

A man is walking by an insane asylum and hears all the residents chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!"
Quite curious about all this, he finds a hole in the fence, looks in and someone pokes him in the eye. Everyone in the asylum starts chanting "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"

A blonde calls Singapore Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from here to San Francisco?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

Like always

2006-12-29T18:26:00.000+08:00

Yes, if i have to wait until i leave the house for an activity before I update, I would have to wait for quite a long time.

I was jogging today when I saw someone dash across the road and received loud warning horns (not those on the unicorn) from the 963 bus. This reminded me of one incident that I had witnessed days ago

It was before Sam's party and I was going to Orchard to get a gift. However 700 terminated at Newton so I had to jaywalk to get to the train. (anyone want to watch the curse of the golden flower? pls ask me along) I waited on the curb, watching this woman dash across the road into the path of cars that had started to move.

Jokes:

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees the man crying on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."The blonde says, "Don't worry."

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. A metre away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, it hops down the road another metre, turns and waves, hops another metre, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until it hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."

Christmas party

2006-12-26T08:38:00.000+08:00

Felt quite bad abt missing MDC's party

Went to Sam's party and enjoyed myself. My usual bunch of friends were there too, mm, sk, aaron, joanne etc......
Played uno (which I won quite glamourously - and sk has this concept of taking more cards even if he has the same number/colour just to get cards of the same number to end the game in style???)
Twister was the most interesting with lots of compromising positions and squealing. The eventual winner of my round was mm but not after everyone else gave up willingly. (sk gave up after he had to get very close to me to get to the next colour. Why? Get close to me will die meh?)

We sang carols and I was saboed to sing solo but fortunately I did not. mm was laughing at some word in the lyrics that sounded vulgar. Tsk tsk.
Resident evil was fun to watch and we saw King of Violent Playstation Games (aaron) slay zombies and collect gans...err guns. Obviously we stayed till quite late and either missed or almost missed the last train home.

Jokes:

A woman with cerebral palsy was talking to her friend at a party :" Do u know what is the hardest activity for a person with cerebral palsy?"
" Errm, sewing?" ventured the friend
"No, its plucking your eyebrows"
"Really?"
"Yah, that's how I got pierced ears."

Why did the compulsive gambler put his head in the toilet bowl and ask the Queen to pull the lever?
Ans: he wanted a royal flush

What kind of mite can't make you itch?
Ans: Dyna-mite, it hurts you very badly instead

stranger than everything else

2006-12-26T08:22:00.000+08:00

On Sunday went on a mini class gathering with ZN, MM and LCM. Stopped by Settler's cafe where we played Loco (sounds like loc-kok and was quite loc-kok too) and St Petersburg, a game where u win by accumulating fame points. I had lots of money but the game ended before I could buy any fame ~#%*. LCM also made a last ditch attempt not to be last by amassing nobles fervently but still......

Then there was this absolutely confusing movie - Stranger than fiction - where an author was writing about this person and she wanted to kill him off without realising that he was a real person. Strange right?

Jokes

A doctor informed his patient that he had a very bad case of HAGS
" What's HAGS?" asked the patient
"Oh, its a combination of herpes, aids, gonorrhoea and syphilis. The only cure is total isolation and a strict diet of pancakes and bacon." explained the doctor.
" But why pancakes and bacon?" asked the patient
"Well, it's the only food that we can slide under the door."

Which bacteria is very strict?
Ans: Bacillus cereus (serious)!

Stalker

2006-12-03T23:08:00.000+08:00

One of my friends has a stalker. His name starts with Aa. Can U guess who?

Apparently this saga with the security guard (of a certain race) at Buona Vista MRT began months ago and I witnessed 3 occasions where the security man singled my friend out just to check his bag. And probably to check him out as well.

My trusted source said that he was targeted again today and there was another witness. Gosh, please do my friend a favour and listen out for any suspicious noises or whimpering cries for help as you walk past doors at train stations that are for "Staff Admittance Only"

Jokes:

A security guard approached a spiritual medium who was behaving suspiciously and said:" I would like to request a search." The medium unleashed ghosts and said:" Go ahead, do some soul searching."

Weekend food fest

2006-12-02T21:28:00.000+08:00

On friday, went for a wedding dinner and stuffed myself like crazy. There were 2 youngsters at my table who attacked the food too and were matching my pace. I am proud to annouce that towards the 9th and 10th dish, I had 3 and 2 helpings respectively while they managed only one serving each.

Today, went back to Bukit Batok (where I used to stay) for its oyster omelette and fried prawn noodles. Needless to say, I ate a lot. Then I visited my old home where I walked up and down familiar stairs and corridors. Yes, those were the stairs that gave me the phobia of tumbling down.

Jokes:

A club was looking to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. The committee decided to use hypnosis. After extensive publicity, the first meeting of the month was packed with people.The hypnotist produced a pocket watch and began chanting :" watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesemerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch's every move until suddenly the hyptonist's fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor.

"Shit!" exclaimed the hyptonist
It took 3 weeks to clean up the venue.

Peace and quiet

2006-11-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

Took some time out to stare into space today. Really enjoyed the feeling of having nothing much to do.

Had to starve till 1.30 cos the 9.30 break was too early and not much food was available. The 11.30 break was no better off with some sales rep spending more time on the history of the company and its reputation rather than the actual instruments.

But I did enjoy the chicken rice and char quay teow at Ghim Moh with Aaron, SK and HW. And we caught this reporter trying to interview a stall vendor who did not want to accept any 5 cent coins. What an absurd story. I can't believe that customers actually complained about this to the press.

Jokes:

A man went to his doctor and requested for a vasectomy. " This is a pretty big decision. Have you discussed it with your family yet?" asked the doctor. The man replied :" Oh yes, they are in favour, 15 to 2."

A man called his boss one morning and told him that he was staying at home because he didn't feel well.
"What's the matter?" asked the boss
"I have a case of myself glaucoma," the man replied wearily
"Huh? What's myself glaucoma?' asked the boss.
" Well, I just can't see myself comming in to work today."

At Home

2006-11-24T17:39:00.000+08:00

Its nice to have a revision holiday. Can stay at home for once. Don't forget, I have yet to miss a legitimate lecture. (Well, missing one PDCP before CA's does not count)

Some of my troubled friends are also trying to push me down the stairs. Fortunately, I have insurance.

Here's wishing SK success in his driving test.

Jokes:

A blond ordered a pizza from Pizza Hut. The waiter asked if he should cut it into 6 or 12 pieces. The woman replied:" 6 please, I could never eat 12."

A blond saw a sign at the movies saying "No one under 18 admitted." Immediately, she pulled 17 of her friends to enter the cinema with her.

Stairways

2006-11-18T07:31:00.000+08:00

There has been some contention lately about the way I descend stairs although a particular pair of my friends would rather see me roll down the stairs. The sad truth is I have a phobia of tumbling down the stairs, having slipped through the gaps of the Jacob's Ladder before. This in part accounts for my skewed directional sense when walking down the stairs. (Yes, I walk down sideways) I suppose I will continue with my old ways because it keeps me from tripping and tumbling.

Ok, this is for MM:

Aaron was thrice lucky yesterday when his bag was checked for bombs and bioterrorist threats at the Buona Vista MRT --- AGAIN. (see, look like Wang Xi and hence the terrorist face.)

Jokes:

A blond was travelling home late at night on the MRT when she read a sign. "Please hold your child's hand on the escalator." Desparingly, she thought to herself:" Now, where on earth am I going to find a child at this tine of night?"

A guy sent his clothing to the laundry and when it came back, there were still stains on the undergarments. So, he attached a note on his next batch of clothing that read:" Use more soap on undergarments." The laundryman replied with a note of his own:" Use more paper on ass."

I am still alive

2006-11-10T19:59:00.000+08:00

Had 4 horrendous papers over the past week. But let's not talk about that.

Today, went for lunch with MM, SK and Aaron at Mos burger. They should make it a fast food restaurant for the birds since their serving portions are reflective of their appetites. As usual, I dropped food on my pants and dirtied the table

Times bookshop surprisingly had interesting things to see, including cards that taught fortune reading and books with sleazy titles like "Why do men have nipples?" (Then? What do u expect men to grow? Biscuits is it?)

Jokes:

A beggar was walking past the cake shop belonging to a haughty baker when he spotted the declicious cakes on display. He walked up to the baker and asked:" May i buy the cake?" The baker replied:" No, we don't serve beggars here."

"I'll pay you $100 for the cake" said the beggar. "No, and get lost" the baker snapped.

"$200?", asked the beggar. "Which part of get lost don't you understand"answered the baker.

"$400?" asked the beggar. The baker paused momentarily before answering :" No, go away now."

Finally, the beggar made an offer that the baker could not refuse:" $700 for the cake." The baker reluctantly agreed that this was a good deal and served him the cake.

As the beggar gobbled up the cake. he kept moaning;" Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God."

"Why do you keep saying Oh my God?" asked the baker.

Still shoving the cake in his mouth, the beggar went:"Oh my God, Oh my God, Where am I going to find $700???"

A woman went to the doctor for constipation and complained that she had not moved her bowels for 10 days. "Well, have you done anything about it yet?" asked the doctor. She replied;" I sit in the bathroom for an hour everyday. The doctor asked again:" No, I mean have you taken anything?" the woman replied:"Oh, I see. Yes, I take a book."

Dinner at Chinatown

2006-10-21T18:25:00.000+08:00

As promised, a new tagboard is up. Come forth and colonize it with literature.

The visit to the HPB was a waste of time. I admit I went only for the phamplets. But SK, aaron and I had some fun instead playing hangman. The puzzles ranged from sooty mangabeys to armadillo faeces.

Then we had dessert and dinner at chinatown where the dumplings and pudding received thumbs up. I can't say the same for the Leong Tao Hu though. (What prof Vincent might say: Do you know what's Leong Tao Hu? Its not a name but it would make a nice one.)

Jokes:

What do you call a Frenchman who wears sandals?
Ans: Philippe Philoppe

A man and his wife were lying in bed when the man let out a loud fart. He shouted:" One point!"
His wife then let out one too and shouted:" One all"
A while later, the man let out another fart and shouted:" Now I'm ahead, 2-1"
His wife subsequently released one as well :" Nope, its a tie at 2-2"
Not to be outdone, the man strained himself but he could not fart. Desperate to regain the lead, he gave it his all and eventually pooped on the bed accidently, letting off a strange sound.
"What was that?" asked his wife.
The man replied:" Half-time, lets switch sides."

Tagboard

2006-10-15T11:23:00.000+08:00

Well, I have no idea what's wrong with my tagboard. There's some login panel for cPanel??? I shall get it fixed sometime.

Plus I am done with my Charmed season 2 DVDs. Prue is...was fantastic. Wouldn't it be cool to have telekinetic abilities?

Jokes:

A man was bitten by a stray dog and was taken to hospital. A doctor came by and saw him scribbling frantically on a piece of paper. " Don't worry" said the doctor, " You might not necessarily have rabies and even if u do, we can cure it. There's no need to write your will now."
" Will?" replied the man, "I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

Wedding Dinner

2006-10-08T01:04:00.000+08:00

Just returned from a wedding dinner thrown by MDC seniors at the Grand Copthorne. So full now that i can barely walk. My favourite dish was the almond desert. Had 3 bowls cos some pple are on call tmr etc and left early, leaving lots and lots of delicious food behind.

Mid Autum Festival, as always, was good. (It's my chinese birthday according to the lunar calendar) Had a feast for dinner and lots of durian mooncake from Goodwood Park Hotel. (Yes, there are no termites there)

I can feel the calories piling up...

Jokes:

A slight movement caught the blond's attention. She spun around and saw it. She gasped as a few shots rang out. Mustering every ounce of strength, she dived for cover with her friend shouting :" Those are shots from the camera..."

A blond went to the bank to withdraw money. " Pls identify yourself", asked the bank teller politely. The blond fished out a pocket mirror, looked into it and said:" Yep, I'm sure it's me"

Break breaking

2006-09-30T21:25:00.000+08:00

The 1 wk break is going to be over soon. That's terrible. I still fondly remember the day it started.

On thurs, there was an anat outing at kritika's restaurant where she intended to give us a treat. Being very "Chinese", we were very paiseh about it and stuffed money in her purse without her knowing.

Later there was dessert at the beancurd stall at Douby Ghaut. I shall never eat beancurd anywhere else again cos it was that good.

Also, I added 2 new albums to my collection. Yes, the normal and the limited versions of the new compilation. Many fans complained that the film strip that came enclosed in their limited edition did not contain Yan Zi but instead showed scenery or the male model in the MTV. I am pleased to annouce that all 6 squares of my film strip contains Yan Zi.

Jokes:

Did u hear about the guy whose eyes called everybody?
Ans: Well, he was wearing contact lenses.

Why didn't the epileptics order Coke at the restaurant?
Ans: They had shakes instead.

Army friends

2006-09-26T19:58:00.000+08:00

Went for Japanese Buffet at Suntec with some of my very good army friends from section 1 + some APC drivers. (Armoured Personnel Carriers, not Antigen Presenting Cells) Obviously I had to skip dinner because I ate too much. It was refreshing catching up with all of them over lunch. I will definitely make it a point to do this more often when they ROD. (no, no one's going fishing)

It was also rather shocking to learn that one of them had an UTI and u know what they say in classes about adult males with UTI! But I'm sure nothing of that sort of thing happened to my decent friend. But then again......

And YanZi's album has arrived but only the non limited 2 disc edition is on sale. Those who want the $56 limited edition will have to wait till this friday. Congratulations to Warner Music once again for outdoing themselves in terms of inefficiency and sloth.

Jokes:

The blond studied for her blood test...
And failed it

The blond nurse carried a red marker...
To draw blood

The blond scientist invented...
Foot powered wheelchairs

The fickle-minded blond put lipstick on her forehead...
Because her boss told her to make up her mind

SGH

2006-09-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today, I went down to SGH after patho prac. Just to squash the rumours that r circulating, I did NOT go down for a full body checkup, NOR did I go for confidential HIV tests.

The MO (Dr J.Lim) took ages to come to the patient (2hrs) and he cheerfully declared that he had a terrible day . After apologising, he went on to adress some concerns and explaining concepts behind the clinical condition. Also, he was very polite and professional in answering questions. Would anybody like to guess the significance of suctioned fluid from the GIT turning from green to brown?

I guess nurses gossip alot too. I overheard them commenting that the MO was acting like he was a consultant while explaining things to us. The only other thing i noticed was that he actually had time to maintain his hair in a spiked fashion.

Jokes:

A ship carrying a load of red paint and a load of purple paint ran into a deserted island. The captain and the crew were marooned.

Book titles
I can't walk another step by Carrie Mee Holme
Sadness by I.M. Blue
The itchy scalp by Dan Druff

Yu Tian MTV

2006-09-21T21:22:00.000+08:00

This is the link to Yu Tian MTV
http://stars.udn.com/udnstars/download/mplay.jsp?contID=000000009915&name=%AE%5D%BF%50%AB%BA%A2%AC%AB%42%A4%D1%A2%DB%A2%E4

Its not that good because Yan Zi is NOT in it.
And the story line is rather fragmented and strange.
Looks like Warner Music did NOT put lots of effort into it

The new album will be arriving next Monday instead of 22/9 :(
My MSN is raphaellee1@hotmail.com

Today I had to stay back for some seminar conducted by specialists. Some of them were so funny, especially Dr Tambyah and Dr Denise Goh. YL has a new movie too!

Jokes:

Why did the harpist sell her harp very cheaply?
Ans: There were no strings attached

What do you call a lot of rabbits hopping away from you?
Ans: A receding hareline

A Perfect Day

2006-09-19T22:15:00.000+08:00

Now I am one year older (past 18/9 already). Thank you for all the well wishes. Especially to the anat group and the bangseh group. (That means I had 2 cakes and lots of calories) Also I liked the card very much too.

It was very thoughtful of my anat group to try to keep me "occupied" with immunology questions from Kritika while J. Lam and the rest went to get the cake. Later on, there was another combined celebration in Seminar Rm 4C (HW's belated cake too). I have since named the chocolate banana cake from Bengawan Solo Choc-nana. The picture above shows a camera shy ghostly figure rushing out of the Seminar Room 4C as though she was being deported. Can you guess who she is?

At patho class I got lucky and the tutor stopped at the person before me when picking on students to comment on the pots.

Then a very huge gift came at about 6p.m. when Yes 933 had a preview airing if Stefanie Sun's Rainy Day. It was so touching that I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. (exaggerated isn't it) Up till now, I still have the delusion that she released the song on my birthday specially for me!

MDC was very enjoyable as usual and I got to torture HL with my jokes. I doubt she will speak to me for the next 2 years because my joke quota has been exhausted.

Wasn't it a perfect day?

Jokes. (The super birthday edition)

What is the casino's mother called?
Ans: casino-ma

What do u call it if you did not know the casino's mother
Ans: Adenocarcinoma. ( I didn't know carcinoma)

What do you get when you cross a boomerang with a bad memory?
Ans: I can't remember but i'm sure it will come back to me

What do you call a boy carrying a toilet?
Ans: Lou (Loo)

Hence, what do you call a girl carrying 2 toilets?
Ans: Lulu (Loo Loo)

I am not upset

2006-09-17T17:30:00.000+08:00

Timworks' blog

http://podcast.blog.webs-tv.net/timworks/podcast/568125

Another Outing

2006-09-15T23:14:00.000+08:00

Today, had an outing with MM, ZN and LCM. We went to some noodle place. (Nooch bar is it?) They have such giantic spoons there for the soup based noodles. The spoon was too huge to fit into CM's mouth but of course my mouth was huge enough. ZN said " Oh, we should try something new and should not be so boring." In the end she ordered something that tasted quite bad. Ewww.

Then we had desert at NYDC where we observed very interesting things in front of HMV. (Like pple kissing etc.) Finally we ended it with a trip to HMV where we insulted many singers whose albums were on cheap sale.
Also, I received a gift today. It's an exercise bendy bar that i can use anytime at home. Thanks!

Jokes

Parachuting for beginners by Hugo First
The perfect breakfast by Chris P. Baccon
Late for school by Misty Buss
Buying old furniture by Anne Teake
Diary of a criminal by Robb N. Steele

NYDC Anat Outing

2006-09-14T21:31:00.000+08:00

Today, most of my anat class went for lunch together. Oh and I must apologise to the downstream pple waiting for a taxi cos we got into theirs . Initially we decided on Thai Express. But the queue was so long that I have since renamed the place Thai Delay. So we went to NYDC where the girls insisted that the guys were infested with viruses and there was a clear gender differentiation. (No lah, the girls wanted to share food so they had to sit together.)

Then we had J.Lam who saw a taxi and ran after it while it was speeding away. So funny and obe quack. The above picture shows the aftermath of running after a taxi and missing it. Ha ha ha.

Jokes.

Well, since the book titles were very well received, here r some more.

Does he love me? by May Be Soh
Police Chase by Watts E. Dunn
Building your house by Iva Newhouse
Gambling made easy by Jack Pott.
Cooking with Dirt by I.M. Strange

I can't wait for 22/9

2006-09-13T19:50:00.000+08:00

Yes, yes new Yan Zi album. There will also be an exclusive airing of the new single "Meng Xiang tian Kong" Or Dreams as high as the sky. (Its not even released yet and I have it. Many thanks to the fans on the Warner msg board.) This will take place in the LT on Friday morning B4 lecture starts.

All fans are in praise of the song "Rainy Day" after listening to the 29 second preview. One fan said it was raining when she heard it and was on the brink of tears after being overwhelmed by the touching rendition.

29 second preview found at following website
http://www.di-yoho.com.tw/myyoho/page/listen.asp?Action=Ring&DSEL=1&ID=256452

Jokes

Why was the boy with chicken pox very upset?
Ans : Varicella (Very Sad lah)

Which bird is perpetually in pain?
Ans: The owl. (OW,OW,OW)

Running in the Rain

2006-09-10T15:45:00.000+08:00

Today, I had quite a good time at home.(as usual) It started raining in the afternoon and I realised that I had not seen people running in the rain for some time now. (as u would have guessed, its one of my sadistic hobbies) I saw 2 guys dashing across the road, pausing below the LRT tracks to catch a breather, before dashing for cover. Also, I witnessed a small boy running for a covered walkway. The rest of the pedestrians were carrying umbrellas.

Jokes

Good books to read.

How to win arguments by Xavier Breth
The toothache by Howard Hertz
Plumbing for beginners by Lee King
The liquid diet by I.P. Allott
Winter Wonderland by I. C. Snow

Braces

2006-09-09T20:00:00.000+08:00

They just don't want to come off. My bite alignment is still uncorrected, thanks to my ever growing jaw. Now I have to continue with my regiment of braces. In fact, the lower row of teeth may be re-implicated again. I hope I don't have to wear them for the next 10 years.

Jokes:

A guy walked into the pharmacy and asked for a vial of cyanide.
"What do you want the cyanide for?" asked the pharmacist.
"I want to kill my wife." The man replied
"I'm sorry" said the pharmacist. "There's no way i will sell you cyanide to poison your wife."
The man reached into his wallet and pulled out a photo of his wife. The pharmacist took a look and saw the ugliest woman that he had ever seen in his whole life.
"I am sorry sir, it was my mistake. Let me get the cyanide for you, I didn't realise that you had a prescription."

MV preview.

2006-09-07T18:44:00.000+08:00

mms://m1.g-music.com.tw/2006/09/yanzi_10in1_ MV.wmv

A preview of 10 Yanzi's Music Videos in 1. Enjoy

NEW ALBUM UPDATE

2006-09-06T17:39:00.000+08:00

Yep, this is the preview of the new album. You are probably one of the first people in Singapore to see this since Warner is so terribly slow.

It will contain:

My Story Your Song Disc

Contains songs that have charted the growth and development of Stefanie Sun from her humble beginnings to what she is today.

Hit Singles Disc

All the greatest hits from all 9 albums.

New Song

Titled Rainy Day. Supposed to be very heart warming and touching.

Pictoral entitled " My Memory"

Has 100 pages of meaningful pictures captured from various moments of Stefanie's life

My Story Your Song DVD

Has 1.5 hrs of video captures of Stefanie's career at Warner

Must support......

Clinic Visit

2006-09-05T22:38:00.000+08:00

Today my PBL tutor, Dr A., took us to see a diabetic patient. She had a poor healing wound and I got to feel her pedal pulse. Luckily we were kept occupied during the long, silly and unwarranted 2.5 hrs break between 2 lectures.

***Latest***

Stefanie Sun's new album has only ONE new song. So miserable. Its translated as rainy day. ( So similiar to the greatest hit Cloudy Day) I hope its good. And someone likes RAIN right??!!

Jokes:

Did u hear about the student who brought a lamp to the mountains to study?
Ans: She thought it was a high-lighter

What did the frog say when it had respiratory tract infection?
Ans: Croup, croup, croup.......

IN STRONG SUPPORT OF STEFANIE

2006-09-02T18:24:00.000+08:00

Yep, after 10 months (looong wait), finally there's news of Stefanie sun's new album. This time its a compilation with like 4 cds, 2DVDs and a picture booklet. The only wierd thing is that Warner seems to be waging war on EMI by releasing the album on the same day as Jolin Tsai to nip her sales.

What a day

2006-09-01T22:03:00.000+08:00

Firstly, Happy Birthday to HW. May you have a long and happy life!!!

And everything else went wrong today. Firstly, I tried to double check the figures for the pharmaco stimulation and deleted the whole column after the figures did not tally. Then HW said that the numbers generated are random and not fixed. @#$%^^&

Then I happily completed the values of 20 over simulations before releasing that I had clicked on the wrong agnoist and all my values were wrong. %%%^^**!@#()

Then I copied from a friend and his values were wrong too as the dose ratio was inaccurate %%$%^^^

Lastly when I obtained the values to draw the correct lg[agnoist] graph, I drew the graph on the paper that I inverted by mistake. Now my graph ends at the starting axis. ***&^%^%)))(*&

SH even told me not to take the bus home as I might pass my misfortune to everyone on the bus.

Jokes: (original ones that i made up during lectures)

Why did the american army take lots of drugs?
Ans: Because of the high GI loss (GI = gastrointestinal)

Which tennis player is a virus?
Ans: Maria Sha-parvova (parvovirus)

Maniac with a car

2006-08-26T17:30:00.000+08:00

Lets see, I beat 2 red lights, cut an elderly man at the zebra crossing, knocked down some poles, released the clutch too early countless times......

Jokes

A car smashed past the guardrail, rolled down the cliff, bounced off a huge tree and landed upside down with its wheels spinning frantically in the air. The driver crawled up towards the main road. A passing motorist asked:" Are you drunk?"
The driver replied:" of course, what else do you think I am? A stunt driver?"

Monday

2006-08-21T23:22:00.000+08:00

I am so tired. Just returned from MDC and heng, there was one new M1 student! MDC will not see its total demise under my charge this year.

I think that Subway food is rather digusting. The bread is wierd and there are insufficient vegetables. Bascially, its very high in sugars (Bad bad carbo) and fat.

Jokes

A drunk was peeing into a fountain in the middle of town when a policeman walked by.
" Hey, you there! Put it away. And stop that!" shouted the policeman
Grudgingly, the drunk did up his belt and zipped up. After a while, the drunk burst out laughing
" What's so funny?" asked the policeman
The drunk replied :" Ha Ha Ha, I put it away but I did not stop."

1st week of school

2006-08-20T10:05:00.000+08:00

I dislike the COFM lectures. They involve the 2 elements that put me off - Maths and Propaganda. That's all I dare to say for now.

And someone (IK) lied to me that he saw Stefanie Sun at Bukit Timah hill jogging with 2 bodyguards when she was in New York filming an ad. How silly.

Jokes:

A surgeon told his patient:" Hello, this is nurse Lim and she has a severe case of halitosis. She will be French-kissing you before your operation."
" But why? " asked the patient.
The surgeon said :" Because we have run out of anasthetic."

EMI

2006-08-16T18:43:00.000+08:00

Yay... It's finalised. Yanzi will be joining EMI. Finally she will be free from the clutches of the wretched Warner Music. Now they have lost the most valuable gem that they have neglected in the past 2 years and this serves them right.

Warner will be releasing the compilation album in September along with Jay Chou's new album. (Another sales war) Orders for the compilation have reportedly reached 1.8 million. EMI will then release her maiden album under Capitol in December. Wait, but December is sandwiched between so many CAs.

Jokes

A man was lying in the hospital bed covered in bandages from head to toe. A nurse asked him about his occupation.
Man:" I was previously a window cleaner."
Nurse:" When did u give it up?"
Man:" About halfway down! " (the building)

Why do ant-eaters rarely get sick?
Ans: They are full of anty-bodies (antibodies)

Price war

2006-08-12T23:18:00.000+08:00

Just a quick update on EMI-Capitol and Warner Music. There's a giantic price war between the 2 record giants to get Stefanie Sun. Up till a few days ago, EMI offered a transfer fee (excluding royalties etc) of 150 million TWD (S$ 7.2 million) and just recently Warner decided it would offer 150 TWD as well. This led to EMI offering 160 million TWD yesterday. - Childish-

The only reason why they are so generous is that Warner Music has made a total profit of S$80 million in the past 5 yrs out of Stefanie Sun. The price war is getting exciting......

Jokes:

2 surgeons were talking over tea one day and their conversation turned to work.
S1 :" I operated on Mr Sim that day"
S2 :" How much was the operation?"
S1 :" S$19000"
S2 :" What did he have?"
S1 :" Oh, about S$19000"

School started

2006-08-12T09:14:00.000+08:00

Friday was like quite time wasting. Had some introductory lectures and spent quite a while doing next to nothing in the Micro B lab. They called us down for a few hours just to spend a few minutes signing for the timetable and filling up some record card. My male friend had a (Miss) printed beside his name on the record card. It went : LXX HXX WXX (Miss). Hahahaha.

Then went on a outing with my anat class since the whole bangseh group bangsehed. The shake at billy bombers was not bad and they gave us coupons worth $11 for their 11th anniversary.

Jokes:

Did you hear about the cannibal on diet?
Ans: He ate only midgets.

A blond bought a new fire alarm. After installing it to her ceiling, she read the instructions further. It read "Test your alarm." So she set fire to her sofa and coffee table.

Marche outing

2006-08-09T10:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we had a late celebration at Marche for winning MQ. The venue was originally Siam Kitchen. (where is that?) Not everybody turned up but we still had fun.

There was this weird promotion that enabled one to get a discount with a "Moo Moo" card. (what's that?) So cow-fusing. (confusing)

Jokes:

What is the worse thing about having a lung transplant?
Ans: The first few times you cough, its not your phlegm.

What's the difference between toilet paper and toast?
Ans: toast is brown on both sides.

FIR

2006-08-06T11:54:00.000+08:00

Has anybody heard FIR's new album . I think its pretty good although their past 2 albums were better. At least I have something to tide me over until October.

Yes, finally. Stephanie Sun's new album is slated for an October release. And it will be a 'new songs + compilation' album. Trust the ever so lousy Warnermusic to chart this kind of career path. Hopefully this is the last Warner album that she will ever produce. Can't stand its inefficient publicity methods and all its sucky planning.

They did not even record the Taiwan concert she held, despite them blowing 20 million NT on TV screens and clothing alone. So no concert DVD or VCD I guess.

Jokes:

2 blonds found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the police station.
Blond 1 :" What if one of them blows up on the way to the police station?"
Blond 2 :" Never mind, then we will lie that we only found 2."

A blond applied for a job at a large MNC and was required to undergo some intelligence tests
The interviewer asked :" In history, Captain Cook went on only 3 expeditions. But he died after one of them. Was that after his first, second or third expedition?"
The blond thought for a while and said :" Sorry, I am hopeless at history, could i have another question instead?"

Mediquiz 2006

2006-07-30T11:22:00.000+08:00

Yay, RJ managed to win this year's quiz. And we captured the 1st, 6th and 7th individual placings courtesy of LY, Di and Jan. Congratulations to the team.

I did not even know how to answer some of the questions. Luckily I'm not on the team.

Congratulations to HC too, for sweeping the remaining 7 prizes and achieving the 2nd place. And also to Moses and NJC with their 3rd placing. I was also quite glad to see many of my friends whom I had not seen in a long long time.

Hopefully the next batch will fight to continue the quiz.

Jokes:

2 blond hunters were hunting outdoors when suddenly one of them had a sudden fit and collapsed onto the ground, foaming at the mouth. After a few minutes of agony, he appeared to stop breathing and lay motionless. The other hunter immediately called the emergency services:" Hello, I need an ambulance, my friend is dead."

The paramedic on the line immediately said:" calm down, and do not scare yourself. How sure are you that your friend is dead?" A few gunshots rang out over the phone.

"Yep, now I am very sure he is dead."

Gym

2006-07-28T21:40:00.000+08:00

Can't believe it right? Raphael at the gym. Pigs will grow wings and fly one day. But I went testing the waters today with SK. (must bring someone along or I will feel paiseh to enter the gym) As usual, those who need to be there were not and those who no longer need to be there were. I felt so out of place. So malu. The people also looked at me and must have thought: This scrawny chicken also want to come... .

Then there was this muscular person who vacated a machine. So I decided to try. But the handles would not budge and I thought to myself: This machine is spoilt, better report. But it turned out that the weights were set at 57kg. How to lift? Subsequently, all the vacated machines had their weights set at 48kg and above.

Quote (that I made up today):
As the wheel of life turns, at least I dare to put a spoke in it.
Even if the spoke breaks, my spirit is not broken

^^^^^^^^VOMIT^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Jokes:

Why are muscles like paper?
Ans: U can tear them

Why do cats like singing?
Ans: They think they are mewsical (musical)

A fisherman was carrying a fish home. Another fisherman asked him: "What r u going to do with the fish?" He replies :" I am carrying the fish home for dinner."
The fish looks up and says:" I've already eaten, could we go for a movie instead?"

Chicken Rice

2006-07-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

Tried the chicken rice at Food Republic. Heard that some chef left some hotel to set up a branch there is it? It was OK, quite tasty compared to the rest of the chicken rice I ate before. But at the end of it all, its still only chicken rice to me. Obviously busy with more mediquiz trainings these few days. But still have time for good food.

Jokes:

What do you get when U cross a chicken with a bomb?
Ans: An eggs-plosion (explosion)

What do you get when U cross a rooster, a poodle and a ghost?
Ans: cock-a-poodle-boo

What do you get when U cross a chicken with a robber?
Ans: A peck-pocket. (pick-pocket)

Still nothing exciting

2006-07-23T21:59:00.000+08:00

Aiyah, still no outing yet. Guess the major upcoming exciting event + outing is MEDIQUIZ next sat. Jo and Hw, r u both comming? All the best to all the other teams; (yang and HCJC), (twm, couch potato and VJC), (moses and NJC)

Jokes:

What did they call the noisy bee at the competition?
Ans: The buzzer.

What happened when the teacher tied the shoelaces of her students together?
Ans: They went on a class trip

Jokes

2006-07-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

Alright, if I wait for an exciting day B4 I update this blog, it can very well shut down. So here are some jokes while waiting for an exciting thing to happen.

A woman in a restaurant farted loudly just as the waiter was approachingher table. Knowing that everyone in the restaurant must have heard the noise, she desperately tried to save face by telling the waiter:" Stop that!"
The waiter said:" Sure, which direction did it go?"

A judge told a double homicide defendent :" You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out :" You beast"
The judge continued :" you are also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The same voice called out :" You heartless scum."
The judge stopped and told the man who had been yelling out :" I understand your anger and fustrations at these crimes, but any more outbursts and I will have to charge you with contempt."
The man stood up and snarled :" For 15 years, I have lived next to him and everytime I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he did not have one."

MSN

2006-07-05T14:32:00.000+08:00

Yes, finally have an account. Its long overdue. I think it would take more quickly for the sea to dry up than for me to get an account. The e-mail that I am using is raphaellee1@hotmail.com.
Please do tell me who u r when u add me or I would have to take a long time figuring out who "sassygirl06" or "hip'n'coolboy86" are.
If there is any mail that you have to send to me but don't want me to read it, pls send to the hotmail account. Otherwise do send it to my yahoo account.

Had an exciting driving lesson. I was illegally practising parallel parking at a public carpark when my instructor spotted the carpark attendant. So, we had to escape quickly with the poles and all. Thrilling!

Jokes:

At a cockfight in Russia, how can you identify the blond from Poland?
Ans: She's the one who brings the duck to compete.
How would you identify the blond from Italy?
Ans: She's the one who bets on the duck.
How would you know that blond mafia members are present?
Ans: The duck wins

Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city one day. Passing an alley, they heard moans and groans and upon investigating, found a man semi conscious in a pool of blood.
" Help me," begged the man with his eyes almost shut, his face battered and bruised. " I've been mugged and viciously attacked by a robber."
The social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to the other:" You know, the person who did this really needs psychological help and counselling."

Food Fest

2006-07-01T19:56:00.000+08:00

On thursday, went with cantonese class classmates to sample dessert at Chinatown Temple Street. (as advertised on television where all the samplers gave their thumbs up and endorsed queueing up for it) I tried the peanut paste and the mango puree. Very tasty and now I want to try the milk pudding, the almond paste......

Then went for a real meal at chinatown food street where all the angmoh tourists were all so excited looking at a street acrobatic performance. Got cheated at the curry stall when they served up instant noodles, a far cry from the picture that they advertised with.

As u would have guessed, peanut paste + curry + eating them at night = sore throat and runny nose etc. So i am now overdosing myself on antioxidants, especially green tea extract. Hoping to hold on to my winning streak for the past year and avoid having to take antibiotics for a sore throat.

Jokes:

During a pediatric consultation, 2 parents voiced their concern that they might not hear their baby rolling off the crib at night. " The baby might injure himself on the parquet flooring"
"That's easy" said the doctor. " Just remove the carpet"

2 men were laid off from a women's undergarment factory. They decided to sign on for unemployment benefits. The first man told the clerk that he stiched undergarments and was awarded $200 in benefits. The 2nd man said that he was a diesel fitter and received $250 in benefits.
Angry, the first man complained to the clerk why he received less money.
The clerk explained: "The additional $50 is a new grant given to skilled workers. Engineers like diesel fitters are eligible. I guess he works hard ensuring that machinery at the factory runs smoothly"
"He was never an engineer!" stormed the man. " he was in quality control. After I'd stitched a pair of undergarment, I would give it to him. If he tried it on and it fit, he would say 'Yeah, diesel fitter' " (these-will-fit-her)

From Yes 933.
Why does superman wear such tight clothing?
Ans: Because his clothing are "S" size.

DVD

2006-06-20T23:21:00.000+08:00

Yay, finally finished all 58 eps of my Han Wu Da Di. Currently itching for more ancient emperor shows to watch but it seems those on the market can't really match up to HWDD. And there are only so few brillant emperors that shows can be made about. Recommendations?

10 rules about emperor shows:

1. The emperor has PMS all the time
2. The Empress is always a dutiful wife and mother until she becomes the Dowager
3. Chinese ministers are skilled at currying flavour
4. Every favoured subject will eventually lose favour in the end.
5. The first crown prince never becomes the emperor
6. The women will look very ghostly
7. Men find zither playing accompanied by singing very seductive
8. Costly war scenes are always repeated such that the same soldiers keep falling off the same horses everytime
9. In front of the emperor, everyone is very dramatic
10. The emperor has PMS all the time

Jokes:

Did you hear about the giant with diarrhoea?
Ans: You didn't? It's all over town. (the diarrhoea)

A 91 year old man went to the doctor for a check-up. A few days later, the doctor caught him walking down with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
At the follow up visit, the doctor said to the old man: " You r doing really well!"
The old man said: " I'm only doing what you said during my last visit - Get a hot mama and be cheerful. "
The doctor replied: " No, I did not say that. I said - You've got a heart murmur, be careful"

Little India

2006-06-17T22:20:00.000+08:00

Went for a mediquiz gathering with lots of seniors today and walked around little india looking for an uncrowded place to have lunch. Settled on some place at Dickson street. The rice was quite grainy but the vegetables were not bad.

However the youghurt was terrible. So sour. Then out of curosity we ordered butter milk. Sounds good right? butter + milk = silky and creamy feeling? Wrong. They mixed the youghurt with water and added some spring onions. As Ly said, it was the experience of a lifetime.

Then there was the wierd table that turns water poured onto it cloudy.

Jokes:

What ingredients in curry had the gift of sight?
Ans: The spices because they are spi-see (spicy)

Why can you only operate appliances like the television and DVD player from a distance?
Ans: Because of the remote control

Why did the frog go to the hospital?
Ans: For a hop-peration. (operation)

13/6/06

2006-06-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

Went on an outing with MM and ZN after mediquiz. Had lunch at some pizza place at Wisma. It was not really worth it. $13++ for a huge plate with a small serving of pasta. And they were really stingy with the garnishing too.

Then watched She's the man. Very funny. Just my kind of movie.

Just to share an incredible tale, sighted Utt near the Sommerset MRT. ZN was ambivalent about approaching him. Wasted an opportunity there to get an autograph.

Joke:

Why did the cream cry?
It was whipped by the chef.

What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?
Milk and a mop and a bucket.

7/6/06

2006-06-07T11:16:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went to the NUS Wellness center for my chronically red right eye and got diagnosed with tired eyes. I was so scared it might be retinal detachment or uveties.The doctor was nice and we had a discussion on ethics. Thank goodness there are still doctors around who believe in being ethical.

Well but there was just one part....
Dr: " people may want to clone people like Faye Wone and Jay Chou and...."
Me: " And Sun Yan Zi"
Dr :" I think one of her is enough"

>>>>> explosion+ zha diao+shao diao<<<<<<<

Jokes

What did one eye say to the other?
Ans: There's something between us that smells

Why did the blond put objects in her eye?
Ans: She read that the eye could accomodate

2/6/06

2006-06-07T10:47:00.000+08:00

Mediquiz final selection test. As usual only one person passsed. The rest all failed. But some failed more gloriously than others.

Saw the new baby today and she was perpetually hungry. Her tongue was sticking out all the time and she was taking great joy in consuming bits of her bootie and the cloth that was used to wrap her

Bought Han Wu Da Di. Its a nice historical show about one of the greatest emperors ever. But must censor some digusting scenes before showing your young relatives who may be interested in watching.

Jokes:

If the crown prince's parents died, what does he become?
Ans: An orphan

What movie starring Nicole Kidman did Daisy the cow watch?
Ans: The udders (The Others)

1/6/06

2006-06-07T10:33:00.000+08:00

My cousin gave birth to a baby girl on 1/6/06. Yay, there's a new addition to the family. The baby is so small but very cute. However my mother added that I was an ugly baby with a distorted head and swollen lips. "See, her head shape very nice and her lips so cute, not like yours, last time so ugly!"

The nurses also allowed me into the delivery suite (for fathers only) after I flashed my matric card.
Before: Who are you, you don't look familiar? This is for fathers only, you cannot go in. Please wait outside

>>>>> Flash matric card and explain>>>>>>>

After: Orrh, u medical student, then can lah. Next time must give us more business

( 2 ways to give business to delivery suite : My personal business or my patient's business as a gynae. But I don't want to be a gynae, so .....)

Jokes:

Why did the blond foetus wrap its ears round the unbilical cord?
Ans: It thought that it was a telephone cord

Why was the blond postwoman always found at the delivery suite?
Ans: She was told by her boss to make deliveries

X Men 3

2006-05-30T23:48:00.000+08:00

Today went to watch the much anticipated X-Men 3. It was well worth the wait and it left me wanting more. I hope they return with a fourth instalment. But this time they should give angelman more scenes and maybe an active power. MM wants to see him with more manly steel wings instead of fluffy feathered ones. HW and I also predicted much of the script before it unveiled itself. WM just wants to watch "Cars".

They should have shown the ending of the family of four trapped in the car. So sway.
It would be nice to see X-Xavier with hair. Beijing 101 hair growth center?
I would like to know where Wolverine bought his self repairing T shirts. Not only did his body heal but his shirt did too.
Where were the Charmed Sisters when their hometown San Franscisco was attacked?

Jokes:

Which X Men became a heme group?
Ans: Pyro (pyrrole)

How can you drink Storm?
Ans: When you kick up a storm in a teacup

What kind of agriculture did the mutant farmers cultivate?
Ans: Cy-crops (Cyclops)

When did Wolverine become a fruit?
Ans: When he became Long-gan. (Logan)

Driving

2006-05-29T12:37:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, started my first driving lesson and almost died of fright cos the instructor brought me to the main road to start driving. The really frightening part was at the turns. As the traffic whizzed past, I had to look both in front for pedestrians and to the side for oncoming traffic. I don't think that's what 2 eyes are for. They are for increasing field of vision and not to look in 2 different directions at the same time.

Got to get an insurance policy soon. These are dangerous times.

Also i highly recommend the chinese history epic about the establishment of the Qing Dynasty. It airs on Thursdays and Fridays at 11pm, channel 8. The empress dowager is so smart!

Jokes:

Why were the ducks arguing in parliment?
Ans: They could not decide on which BILL to pass

Why was Snow White's evil stepmother confused while driving?
Ans: She did not know which mirror would tell her she was the fairest of all.

Star Sighting

2006-05-24T09:23:00.000+08:00

Initially planned to watch the Da Vinci Code on Tuesday. But the reviews came in that pronouced the movie dead so we went for dinner instead at Glutton Bay. So many flies fighting for the small proportion of food.

Then I sighted Howard of Gotcha and Eye for a Guy. If my luck keeps up, next week I think I will meet Fann Wong and by the end of the month, Stefanie Sun.

Dessert at Hagen Das was delicious though the proportions were miserable. Met a friend E working there and we all took photos with her.

Next item on shopping list: The Over the Hedge kiddy shirt. ( The one for obese kids will fit me just fine)

Jokes:

It was raining heavily so a friend invited the blond to stay with her for the night. The blond considered the option and agreed because she did not want to get wet. Suddenly, she dashed out of the door into the rain and returned only an hour later dripping wet and carrying a small plastic bag. " Where did you go?" asked her friend.
The blond replied :" I went home to get my pyjamas."

Did u hear about the reporters who wanted the story on the scandalous ice-cream?
Ans :" The reporters wanted the scoop on the scandal"

Fun? Fair

2006-05-21T11:19:00.000+08:00

On saturday, went to a funfair with the tickets that MO sold us. $10 has never been so hard to spent. ZN and I were remarking about the bacteria and germs that were lurking in the food being sold. (No gloves + excited chatting and splattering of saliva + open concept = pandemic) Finally I settled for delifrance pastries (brand name) and ZN for tea leaf egg because it had the shell on and seemed hygenic enough to eat. It was quite fun being picky and making fun of the funfair.

Then saw yang and WX at the HC bus stop. Must be training MQ right? Blood is going to spill soon. Why both u want to watch Tom Cruise in MI 3 ? Over the Hedge was fantastic. Every animal was so cute and it was the best show that I watched this year. (but the soft toys are disgusting)

Looking forward to Da Vinci Code and X-Men 3. The preview for X-Men 3 got me all excited. Wah, got bridge collapsing, new powers, war and...some retarded person with wings

Jokes:

A baby dog had high fever and the mummy dog rushed it to the doctor dog.
The doctor dog said: "Quick, put some ketchup on the baby dog."
The mother dog asked: "Why?"
" Because ketchup is good for hot dogs."

Which men are very perverted?
Ans: The XXX Men.

Friday outing

2006-05-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

After PDCP exam, went out with half the anat group for lunch at sushi teh-again. But that was not before the wind diving (surfing) and donating blood hoo-ha. Then went shopping (window actually) with the anat gp, looking at everything from slippers to caps and jewellery resembling buddha beads.

It was a day of drama and action. [I] lost his wallet and i hope the thief will return it to him. Then I spotted one half of the duo Brods. (The group on Superband)

The hokkien mee at Food Republic was not bad too. Getting fatter everyday and PDCP derailed my exercise plans.

Jokes:

Why did the dumb nurse carry a red marker around?
Ans: "To draw blood."

Why was the electronical appliance store not allowed to donate blood?
Ans: " It did not have enough iron(s).

Why did the man tip-toe past the medicine cupboard?
Ans: He did not want to wake the sleeping pills

Missed the Club

2006-05-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

Mrs Usa helped me realise my personality and I decided that i was not the clubbing kind after all. Paiseh leh.

Ok lah, next time i try to be more adventurous but can we hold the thing earlier and find a day (the whole world is there on Wednesdays) where its more quiet?

Jokes:

A man was strolling on the beach when he saw a teenager wearing the Harvard sweatshirt entangled in the net at sea and bleeding. Approaching him was a shark that was baring its razor sharp teeth. The man screamed for help as he saw the shark biting the Harvard undergrad. From nowhere, a group of Yale undergrads appeared with parangs and weapons, ran into the water, killed the shark and dragged both Harvard undergrad and the shark to shore. With amazing speed, the Yale undergrads put the injured Harvard undergrad into a waiting van and drove away.

The man said :" I always thought there was animosity between Harvard and Yale. Looks like Yale students are very big hearted and kind. They actually saved the Harvard undergrad and even rushed him to hospital."

Meanwhile, the Yale students were having a whale of a time in the van. One said :" So how is our shark bait holding up? Do we need to capture another one?"

Monday Outing

2006-05-19T23:07:00.001+08:00

This has been delayed for quite a long time due to PDCP.

Celebrated birthdays of J and OCS. Went to Sushi Teh and had curry ramen that tasted strangely like Mcdonald's curry sauce. J and HW were acting as paparazi and they were photographing everyone like mad. MM had her face behind her hands all the time and J managed to make me look shocked in all her photos.

We tried to re-enact the scene where we framed MM by putting the menu into her bag but we failed. What a pseudo thief

Jokes:

How did the paparazi threaten the movie star
Ans: Stop there or I'll shoot (with camera)

How did the thief win the love of the fair maiden?
Ans: He stole her heart

Monday aftermath

2006-05-09T20:40:00.000+08:00

Went on an "outing" to the National Library. Really have to complain about the way they treat citizens of Singapore going to their very own NATIONAL Library. Nonsensical rules are all over the place. No notes in the rare collection area??? No sitting outside the rare collections area???
And the reason the security guard gave was: " Oh, you can't sit here, because you are sitting beside the rare collection area." But the entire collection was enclosed and there was no entry from where we were sitting.

I'm calling the library the Un-National Library

Then had dinner at sushi teh and got so full before malay class that I regretted having the scone earlier on. BURP! ( and I read that while I was stuffing myself, Stefanie Sun was spotted at Wheelock place. How come no one inform me har?)

Bty, A few fans and I agreed online that Taufik can keep the worthless MTV Asia award, Stefanie Sun is so above the underhand saga and I would rather she not get such a meaningless award to defile those she has in her trophy cabinet.

Jokes:

Why did the librarian bring pesticides to work?
Ans: To kill the bookworms

Why was the book paralysed?
Ans: It hurt its spine

How did the librarian contact the book
Ans: She paged it. ( the book has many pages (pager) what)

YUCKS

2006-05-07T01:30:00.000+08:00

No, i am not complaining about the elections. (Had a very quiet one anyway as they drew the boundary at the street just in front of my flat and had a walkover. Anyway it created the dilemma whether i lived in Bukit Panjang, Holland or Bukit Timah)

Taufik won the MTV Asia award and it was revealed that his fans cheated by using a computerised voting system. That was why his votes (20%) overcame Stefanie Sun's 54% majority vote in just 7 days. I would not have been mad if JJ Lin (17%) had won it instead, he was the dark horse anyway and he was indeed derserving of the prize too considering his achievements.

And Fish Leong was robbed of her prize too. Apparently Taufik's fans and some other fans of another nominee for the Malaysian award used the same voting system. (Which voted simultaneously for both camps 24/7)

Rock records has complained about the inconsistencies but MTV Asia is adamant on its decision

No Jokes for this post, I am hopping mad

17th Taiwan Golden Melody Awards

2006-05-05T20:46:00.000+08:00

Yay! Stefanie Sun has been nominated for best Female Singer which she already won last yr. Tanya Chua was nominated too! Recognition for Singapore singers!!!

(Aeh, I heard that Jay Chou was not nominated for a single award)

I think Stefanie sun should hop to other record companies since Warner is so inefficient in publicity and organisation. Plus I read that Sun Ho is joining Warner too. Gasp, better leave for EMI or something

Jokes:

" Doctor, doctor, I feel like I just crawled out from the rubbish bin"
Doctor: " Don't talk rubbish"

" Doctor, doctor, Everybody just wants to disagree with me"
Doctor: " That can't be true"

" Doctor, doctor what would you take for a cold?"
Doctor: " Make me an offer"

3rd May 12 noon

2006-05-04T23:25:00.000+08:00

The results came out at 12 noon, hugely relieved that i brushed the sub papers away.
Still could not stop laughing during cantonese class. Last week, it was odd sounding pok pok zhai. This week, it was "ah sum" that means maid. Exactly what i used to call my brother whenever we got into a fight.

And does it have to rain every afternoon? Its always cloudy when I look out of the window while getting ready to go out but it also always starts to drizzle the moment i step out into the open. Someone stop the korean superstar (Rain)

Jokes

John at the pharmacy kept making mistakes and dispensing the wrong medicine. His boss threatened to fire him if he made one more mistake
One day, a patient with serious cough came and asked for cough remedy. John had forgotten where the cough syrup was kept and panickly gave the patient strong laxatives.
His boss found out and roared: " What in the world are u doing? How can you cure a cough with laxatives?"
John pointed at the glass doors where the patient was seen leaning against a railing and clutching on tightly, too afraid to even cough

My teeth hurt

2006-05-03T22:53:00.000+08:00

Had the "springs" on my retainers activated today to correct my bite. ( Grrrr, but i'm no dog) Now my 2 bunny teeth are being pushed forward. Ouch ouch ouch. And I heard that my cannines are next. (How come it also sounds like a dog)

Jokes:

John: Peter, i beg of you, do not let your dog bark at me!
Peter: Why? would a few barks hurt?
John (tearing) : Well, your dog just bit me and if it's bark is worse than its bite.....

A lady found out that she had no more food in the house and all she could find was a can of dog food and some onions. So she deep fried the dog food with onions and fed it to her husband. Not realising what was wrong, her husband found it delicious and asked for the same dish every night.
Her friend found out and said: " How can you do that, you'll poison him? "
The lady waved her friend's comment aside and continued feeding her husband dog food
A week later, her husband died.
Her friend chided her: " See, i was right, now you've killed him"
The lady said: " Well, not entirely, he died becaused he fell off a tree chasing cats and squirrels "

VCD Saturday and Sunday

2006-05-01T11:54:00.000+08:00

Spent 2 days rushing through my new cantonese VCD, love in a miracle, which features the fall of the very powerful Sun family in the 1930s to 1940s before that japanese occupation. I just love such shows where there's this granny who's the head of the family and she has to fend off interferrences from both outside and inside the family that are threatening to ursup the family fortune while ruining the lives of everybody around her. The confrontation scenes are quite vivid too. And the story line is very chiong yao, with recurring themes of love, hate and revenge everywhere.

Jokes:

A masochist and a sadist are locked together in the same prison cell. The masochist says to the sadist: " Please beat me, slap me or pinch me, or do anything to hurt me."
The sadist replies: " NO."

A diabetic was framed by his enemy and lost everything that he had.
A friend asked: " Why don't you take revenge?"
The diabetic replied: " I can't, revenge is sweet..."

And the results

2006-05-01T11:32:00.000+08:00

After the selection test on friday, mm and I marked the papers and there were lots of interesting answers. One god had like 74/120 and the next highest score was 49/120 etc

Voting for MTV Asia Awards has ended and the results will be annouced on 6th May. And my bet is that Stefanie Sun will get the award for the 5th consecutive year. ( I voted, how abt u?)

Jokes:

Which gall bladders are female?
Ans: Gal-bladders

Which organs are most likely to get involved in car accidents?
Ans: The lungs, because they lung-ga (crash)

Panic setting

2006-04-28T12:16:00.000+08:00

On Thursday I launched again into completing the biochem and physio paper. I thought my questions were evil and I enjoyed setting every single option, especially the physio modified essay question.

Today my ex-trainer (she's not my shoe but sometimes footwear can come in the form of beaded perenakan slippers) came and had lunch with us. And medicine interviews are on going too and we got to be kaypoh.

Cantonese was suprisingly enjoyable. I kept laughing at this term " POK POK ZHAI" which refers to those ancient private schools in China and I could not complete reading the passage. (Who would'nt laugh?)

Jokes:

Which Liying is always youthful
Ans: Young (Yang) Liying

Which muscles did the chicken work out at the gym?
Ans: The peck-torialis (pecs)

Which hole in the body took a break?
Ans: The adductor hiatus

Perenakan Day

2006-04-28T12:04:00.000+08:00

On Wednesday, met with the trainers to set the RJ MQ selection qns. (Fine, only OCS and mm or is it the imposter moon?) We made sure we set a very hard anat paper and tricks were flying all over the paper. All day i was misled into thinking that dinner later on was a sushi buffet as advertised by miss J. Then the communication between Miss S and so on got botched up and we prowled Raffles place and clark quay looking for food. (Actually i quite enjoyed the whole process) Finally Mr K got us settled into a perenakan restaurant. (Yay) and there was someone who was not as innocent as we thought she was, hotel 81 and all....

Jokes:

Why did everyone adore the fish head so much?
Ans: It was currying flavour with everyone

Why did the couple on the verge of a divorce eat chilli everyday?
Ans: They wanted to spice up their life to save their marriage

Malay-ish Monday

2006-04-25T14:51:00.000+08:00

As usual, i enjoyed Malay class tremendously, I think we should let Cikgu lecture in Med Fac. There were many terms in malay that mean something else in other languages

Anjing, which means dog, but we all know that it was one of the songs that Jay Chou sang that got him famous. (and do i hear the girls screaming "jie lun, jie lun" in the background?)

Tanya, which means ask, but we know that if u add a Chua, it becomes Tanya Chua

Besides that, also saw Warner Music advertising on television for Madonna and Enya who released their albums here very very long ago. How come I don't see YanZi's ad? So bias.

Jokes (dun worry, today all original, not from Yes 933)

What do u call it when Madonna gets some fast food?
Ans: McDonna

Which Enya is very small?
Ans: Ant-ya

A blond was told that Madonna married Guy and she said:" Duh!? Obviously he's a guy......"

Sunday

2006-04-24T14:53:00.000+08:00

stayed at home and had a quiet day.

jokes (from yes 933)

A man called the technical help desk and said: "when i click on my computer, there's nothing on the screen"
The technician replied: " alright, you right click and tell me what appears"
The man said: " Nothing appeared"
The technician: "You right click again and tell me what you see"
The man: " OOI, there's still nothing what"
The technician: " Fine, can u describe fully what u have done so far?"
The man :" You told me to write click so i wrote click..."

A woman brought her baby to a restaurant and he started crying. Guessing that he wanted his milk, she started retrieving her breast feeding equipment from her bag. The waiter rushed forward and said: "M'am, I sorry, but you cannot do this here." The woman was shocked and retorted: "Why can't I breastfeed my baby here, the government has encouraged citizens to be tolerant about such practices..."
The waiter replied: "It's not that, but our restaurant has a policy that states you cannot consume outside food or drink in here."

Espirit Outing

2006-04-22T19:44:00.000+08:00

Went for an outing today with my closest group of friends and landed at Esprit. Everyone bought whatever they wanted, even an undergarment! Then we went to some Japanese restaurant for dessert and it was rather tasty plus there was like a special price of 5 bucks (no, i did not pay 5 rabbits) for a drink and the dessert. (No, I did not get Sahara or Gobi)

Jokes:

What happened to the man with flu who visited a clinic in Japan?
Ans: He had the flu JAP (jab)

Which departmental store is very spooky and eerie?
Ans: E-SPIRIT

Did u hear about the sneaky shirt?
Ans: It always had something up its sleeve.

More YanZi

2006-04-22T19:30:00.000+08:00

This post is for Friday

Went shopping for more YZ products and amassed

YanZi playing cards
Lots and lots of YZ postcards
YZ stickers
YZ bookmarks

After which I had to train RJ MQ for blood and CVS, and I do have my favourites for the top 17. A J1 said that aldosterone excess would give edema (which was my answer too), and for that I think he shows great potential for Med Fac.

Blood and CVS jokes

What is Dracula's favourite ice-cream flavour?

Ans: VEIN-illa (Vanilla)

Why is blood clotting so complicated?

Ans:There were so many factors involved

Which clotting disease do pigs get?

Ans: HAM-ophilla

Which is the heart's favourite sport shoe brand?

Ans: Reebok, reebok, reebok.....

Cantonese

2006-04-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

Goodness, cantonese class was so taxing. I guess its hard to pick up dialects. I was inappropriately writing hanyu pinyin everywhere.

On a happier note, I went round the West of Singapore purchasing Yan Zi merchandise and i am happy to annouce that the following has been added to my vast Yan Zi merchandise collection

Stefanie mini sticker book
Stefanie playing cards
Stefanie picture pack

You do get quite a workout shopping. That elbow has to be flexed to reach for that book on the shelf, the shoulder has to be abducted to reach for that highest pack of cards...etc

In conclusion, Qin Shih Hwang did not really do that good a job in unifying China cos there are still so many different dialects and languages

G3

2006-04-20T13:09:00.000+08:00

Went to a Pharmanex seminar at Novotel on their new product launch of G3 and saw the lovely ingredients consisting of gac fruit, chinese wolfberry, cili fruit (not silly fruit) and siberian pineapple. So much antioxidants packed into 1 bottle

The main highlight was a performance by bartenders which saw them concocting alcoholic drinks with G3 and greedy me had already sampled it previously at the entrance.

Luckily i did'nt get drunk for i got drunk once consuming 3 pieces of Godiva chocolates laden with alcohol

Bar Jokes

Why did everyone pour their drinks on the generous man at the bar?
Ans: Because he said "tonight, the drinks are on me"

What did the woman say to the man at the noisy bar?
Ans: I can beer-ly (barely) hear you over this din

French

2006-04-19T20:44:00.000+08:00

Malay classes also brought back unkind memories of French classes at MOELC during sec 1 times. The teacher insisted on us asking for us to go to the toilet in French and I obviously did not know how to. And there were no potted plants in sight.....

Joke on the urinary system

A teacher was walking down the class when she noticed a puddle on the floor
Teacher: Oh Samantha, if you wanted to go to the toilet, you could have put your hand up
Samantha: Oh I did, but the urine still trickled through my fingers.

How did the python kill the ureter?
Ans: The ureter had 3 constrictions (Pop Quiz: Do u still remember where they are?)

Malay class

2006-04-19T20:34:00.000+08:00

Well, started on malay classes and it turned out to be rather interesting mainly because of the teacher. He seemed to like the idea of being called a fruit, the chiku, cos he made us call him cikgu. (which means teacher in malay)

And did u know that transverstites are called PONDAN? Sounds like the soft green cake that we all like to eat.

Malay joke:
Where did the malay girl save her money?
Ans: Sitibank (Citybank)

Why was Robin always praising Batman?
Ans: Cos he was always saying HE-BAT (which means very good in malay)

My first post

2006-04-16T21:38:00.000+08:00

Hello, firstly thank you for visiting

Its been about 10 days since the terrorising exams and i just felt i shd make a dig (but not too deep) at the profs who set the papers. here goes

A boy went to the fortune teller after the exams and remarked ' I would like to find out about my exams'. The fortune teller took a look at his palm and gasped 'the setter of the paper will be murdered with much blood, gore and violence'
The boy replied ' well, what i want to find out is... will i be acquitted?'

Anat Qn

Where did the nucleus and mitochondria go skateboarding?

Ans: On the smooth muscles