X Men 3

Today went to watch the much anticipated X-Men 3. It was well worth the wait and it left me wanting more. I hope they return with a fourth instalment. But this time they should give angelman more scenes and maybe an active power. MM wants to see him with more manly steel wings instead of fluffy feathered ones. HW and I also predicted much of the script before it unveiled itself. WM just wants to watch "Cars".

They should have shown the ending of the family of four trapped in the car. So sway.
It would be nice to see X-Xavier with hair. Beijing 101 hair growth center?
I would like to know where Wolverine bought his self repairing T shirts. Not only did his body heal but his shirt did too.
Where were the Charmed Sisters when their hometown San Franscisco was attacked?

Jokes:

Which X Men became a heme group?
Ans: Pyro (pyrrole)

How can you drink Storm?
Ans: When you kick up a storm in a teacup

What kind of agriculture did the mutant farmers cultivate?
Ans: Cy-crops (Cyclops)

When did Wolverine become a fruit?
Ans: When he became Long-gan. (Logan)

Driving

Last Friday, started my first driving lesson and almost died of fright cos the instructor brought me to the main road to start driving. The really frightening part was at the turns. As the traffic whizzed past, I had to look both in front for pedestrians and to the side for oncoming traffic. I don't think that's what 2 eyes are for. They are for increasing field of vision and not to look in 2 different directions at the same time.

Got to get an insurance policy soon. These are dangerous times.

Also i highly recommend the chinese history epic about the establishment of the Qing Dynasty. It airs on Thursdays and Fridays at 11pm, channel 8. The empress dowager is so smart!

Jokes:

Why were the ducks arguing in parliment?
Ans: They could not decide on which BILL to pass

Why was Snow White's evil stepmother confused while driving?
Ans: She did not know which mirror would tell her she was the fairest of all.

Star Sighting

Initially planned to watch the Da Vinci Code on Tuesday. But the reviews came in that pronouced the movie dead so we went for dinner instead at Glutton Bay. So many flies fighting for the small proportion of food.

Then I sighted Howard of Gotcha and Eye for a Guy. If my luck keeps up, next week I think I will meet Fann Wong and by the end of the month, Stefanie Sun.

Dessert at Hagen Das was delicious though the proportions were miserable. Met a friend E working there and we all took photos with her.

Next item on shopping list: The Over the Hedge kiddy shirt. ( The one for obese kids will fit me just fine)

Jokes:

It was raining heavily so a friend invited the blond to stay with her for the night. The blond considered the option and agreed because she did not want to get wet. Suddenly, she dashed out of the door into the rain and returned only an hour later dripping wet and carrying a small plastic bag. " Where did you go?" asked her friend.
The blond replied :" I went home to get my pyjamas."

Did u hear about the reporters who wanted the story on the scandalous ice-cream?
Ans :" The reporters wanted the scoop on the scandal"

Fun? Fair

On saturday, went to a funfair with the tickets that MO sold us. $10 has never been so hard to spent. ZN and I were remarking about the bacteria and germs that were lurking in the food being sold. (No gloves + excited chatting and splattering of saliva + open concept = pandemic) Finally I settled for delifrance pastries (brand name) and ZN for tea leaf egg because it had the shell on and seemed hygenic enough to eat. It was quite fun being picky and making fun of the funfair.

Then saw yang and WX at the HC bus stop. Must be training MQ right? Blood is going to spill soon. Why both u want to watch Tom Cruise in MI 3 ? Over the Hedge was fantastic. Every animal was so cute and it was the best show that I watched this year. (but the soft toys are disgusting)

Looking forward to Da Vinci Code and X-Men 3. The preview for X-Men 3 got me all excited. Wah, got bridge collapsing, new powers, war and...some retarded person with wings

Jokes:

A baby dog had high fever and the mummy dog rushed it to the doctor dog.
The doctor dog said: "Quick, put some ketchup on the baby dog."
The mother dog asked: "Why?"
" Because ketchup is good for hot dogs."

Which men are very perverted?
Ans: The XXX Men.

Friday outing

After PDCP exam, went out with half the anat group for lunch at sushi teh-again. But that was not before the wind diving (surfing) and donating blood hoo-ha. Then went shopping (window actually) with the anat gp, looking at everything from slippers to caps and jewellery resembling buddha beads.

It was a day of drama and action. [I] lost his wallet and i hope the thief will return it to him. Then I spotted one half of the duo Brods. (The group on Superband)

The hokkien mee at Food Republic was not bad too. Getting fatter everyday and PDCP derailed my exercise plans.

Jokes:

Why did the dumb nurse carry a red marker around?
Ans: "To draw blood."

Why was the electronical appliance store not allowed to donate blood?
Ans: " It did not have enough iron(s).

Why did the man tip-toe past the medicine cupboard?
Ans: He did not want to wake the sleeping pills

Missed the Club

Mrs Usa helped me realise my personality and I decided that i was not the clubbing kind after all. Paiseh leh.

Ok lah, next time i try to be more adventurous but can we hold the thing earlier and find a day (the whole world is there on Wednesdays) where its more quiet?

Jokes:

A man was strolling on the beach when he saw a teenager wearing the Harvard sweatshirt entangled in the net at sea and bleeding. Approaching him was a shark that was baring its razor sharp teeth. The man screamed for help as he saw the shark biting the Harvard undergrad. From nowhere, a group of Yale undergrads appeared with parangs and weapons, ran into the water, killed the shark and dragged both Harvard undergrad and the shark to shore. With amazing speed, the Yale undergrads put the injured Harvard undergrad into a waiting van and drove away.

The man said :" I always thought there was animosity between Harvard and Yale. Looks like Yale students are very big hearted and kind. They actually saved the Harvard undergrad and even rushed him to hospital."

Meanwhile, the Yale students were having a whale of a time in the van. One said :" So how is our shark bait holding up? Do we need to capture another one?"

Monday Outing

This has been delayed for quite a long time due to PDCP.

Celebrated birthdays of J and OCS. Went to Sushi Teh and had curry ramen that tasted strangely like Mcdonald's curry sauce. J and HW were acting as paparazi and they were photographing everyone like mad. MM had her face behind her hands all the time and J managed to make me look shocked in all her photos.

We tried to re-enact the scene where we framed MM by putting the menu into her bag but we failed. What a pseudo thief

Jokes:

How did the paparazi threaten the movie star
Ans: Stop there or I'll shoot (with camera)

How did the thief win the love of the fair maiden?
Ans: He stole her heart

Monday aftermath

Went on an "outing" to the National Library. Really have to complain about the way they treat citizens of Singapore going to their very own NATIONAL Library. Nonsensical rules are all over the place. No notes in the rare collection area??? No sitting outside the rare collections area???
And the reason the security guard gave was: " Oh, you can't sit here, because you are sitting beside the rare collection area." But the entire collection was enclosed and there was no entry from where we were sitting.

I'm calling the library the Un-National Library

Then had dinner at sushi teh and got so full before malay class that I regretted having the scone earlier on. BURP! ( and I read that while I was stuffing myself, Stefanie Sun was spotted at Wheelock place. How come no one inform me har?)

Bty, A few fans and I agreed online that Taufik can keep the worthless MTV Asia award, Stefanie Sun is so above the underhand saga and I would rather she not get such a meaningless award to defile those she has in her trophy cabinet.

Jokes:

Why did the librarian bring pesticides to work?
Ans: To kill the bookworms

Why was the book paralysed?
Ans: It hurt its spine

How did the librarian contact the book
Ans: She paged it. ( the book has many pages (pager) what)

YUCKS

No, i am not complaining about the elections. (Had a very quiet one anyway as they drew the boundary at the street just in front of my flat and had a walkover. Anyway it created the dilemma whether i lived in Bukit Panjang, Holland or Bukit Timah)

Taufik won the MTV Asia award and it was revealed that his fans cheated by using a computerised voting system. That was why his votes (20%) overcame Stefanie Sun's 54% majority vote in just 7 days. I would not have been mad if JJ Lin (17%) had won it instead, he was the dark horse anyway and he was indeed derserving of the prize too considering his achievements.

And Fish Leong was robbed of her prize too. Apparently Taufik's fans and some other fans of another nominee for the Malaysian award used the same voting system. (Which voted simultaneously for both camps 24/7)

Rock records has complained about the inconsistencies but MTV Asia is adamant on its decision

No Jokes for this post, I am hopping mad

17th Taiwan Golden Melody Awards

Yay! Stefanie Sun has been nominated for best Female Singer which she already won last yr. Tanya Chua was nominated too! Recognition for Singapore singers!!!

(Aeh, I heard that Jay Chou was not nominated for a single award)

I think Stefanie sun should hop to other record companies since Warner is so inefficient in publicity and organisation. Plus I read that Sun Ho is joining Warner too. Gasp, better leave for EMI or something

Jokes:

" Doctor, doctor, I feel like I just crawled out from the rubbish bin"
Doctor: " Don't talk rubbish"

" Doctor, doctor, Everybody just wants to disagree with me"
Doctor: " That can't be true"

" Doctor, doctor what would you take for a cold?"
Doctor: " Make me an offer"

3rd May 12 noon

The results came out at 12 noon, hugely relieved that i brushed the sub papers away.
Still could not stop laughing during cantonese class. Last week, it was odd sounding pok pok zhai. This week, it was "ah sum" that means maid. Exactly what i used to call my brother whenever we got into a fight.

And does it have to rain every afternoon? Its always cloudy when I look out of the window while getting ready to go out but it also always starts to drizzle the moment i step out into the open. Someone stop the korean superstar (Rain)

Jokes

John at the pharmacy kept making mistakes and dispensing the wrong medicine. His boss threatened to fire him if he made one more mistake
One day, a patient with serious cough came and asked for cough remedy. John had forgotten where the cough syrup was kept and panickly gave the patient strong laxatives.
His boss found out and roared: " What in the world are u doing? How can you cure a cough with laxatives?"
John pointed at the glass doors where the patient was seen leaning against a railing and clutching on tightly, too afraid to even cough

My teeth hurt

Had the "springs" on my retainers activated today to correct my bite. ( Grrrr, but i'm no dog) Now my 2 bunny teeth are being pushed forward. Ouch ouch ouch. And I heard that my cannines are next. (How come it also sounds like a dog)

Jokes:

John: Peter, i beg of you, do not let your dog bark at me!
Peter: Why? would a few barks hurt?
John (tearing) : Well, your dog just bit me and if it's bark is worse than its bite.....

A lady found out that she had no more food in the house and all she could find was a can of dog food and some onions. So she deep fried the dog food with onions and fed it to her husband. Not realising what was wrong, her husband found it delicious and asked for the same dish every night.
Her friend found out and said: " How can you do that, you'll poison him? "
The lady waved her friend's comment aside and continued feeding her husband dog food
A week later, her husband died.
Her friend chided her: " See, i was right, now you've killed him"
The lady said: " Well, not entirely, he died becaused he fell off a tree chasing cats and squirrels "

VCD Saturday and Sunday

Spent 2 days rushing through my new cantonese VCD, love in a miracle, which features the fall of the very powerful Sun family in the 1930s to 1940s before that japanese occupation. I just love such shows where there's this granny who's the head of the family and she has to fend off interferrences from both outside and inside the family that are threatening to ursup the family fortune while ruining the lives of everybody around her. The confrontation scenes are quite vivid too. And the story line is very chiong yao, with recurring themes of love, hate and revenge everywhere.

Jokes:

A masochist and a sadist are locked together in the same prison cell. The masochist says to the sadist: " Please beat me, slap me or pinch me, or do anything to hurt me."
The sadist replies: " NO."

A diabetic was framed by his enemy and lost everything that he had.
A friend asked: " Why don't you take revenge?"
The diabetic replied: " I can't, revenge is sweet..."

And the results

After the selection test on friday, mm and I marked the papers and there were lots of interesting answers. One god had like 74/120 and the next highest score was 49/120 etc

Voting for MTV Asia Awards has ended and the results will be annouced on 6th May. And my bet is that Stefanie Sun will get the award for the 5th consecutive year. ( I voted, how abt u?)

Jokes:

Which gall bladders are female?
Ans: Gal-bladders

Which organs are most likely to get involved in car accidents?
Ans: The lungs, because they lung-ga (crash)