DVD

Yay, finally finished all 58 eps of my Han Wu Da Di. Currently itching for more ancient emperor shows to watch but it seems those on the market can't really match up to HWDD. And there are only so few brillant emperors that shows can be made about. Recommendations?

10 rules about emperor shows:

1. The emperor has PMS all the time
2. The Empress is always a dutiful wife and mother until she becomes the Dowager
3. Chinese ministers are skilled at currying flavour
4. Every favoured subject will eventually lose favour in the end.
5. The first crown prince never becomes the emperor
6. The women will look very ghostly
7. Men find zither playing accompanied by singing very seductive
8. Costly war scenes are always repeated such that the same soldiers keep falling off the same horses everytime
9. In front of the emperor, everyone is very dramatic
10. The emperor has PMS all the time

Jokes:

Did you hear about the giant with diarrhoea?
Ans: You didn't? It's all over town. (the diarrhoea)

A 91 year old man went to the doctor for a check-up. A few days later, the doctor caught him walking down with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
At the follow up visit, the doctor said to the old man: " You r doing really well!"
The old man said: " I'm only doing what you said during my last visit - Get a hot mama and be cheerful. "
The doctor replied: " No, I did not say that. I said - You've got a heart murmur, be careful"

Little India

Went for a mediquiz gathering with lots of seniors today and walked around little india looking for an uncrowded place to have lunch. Settled on some place at Dickson street. The rice was quite grainy but the vegetables were not bad.

However the youghurt was terrible. So sour. Then out of curosity we ordered butter milk. Sounds good right? butter + milk = silky and creamy feeling? Wrong. They mixed the youghurt with water and added some spring onions. As Ly said, it was the experience of a lifetime.

Then there was the wierd table that turns water poured onto it cloudy.

Jokes:

What ingredients in curry had the gift of sight?
Ans: The spices because they are spi-see (spicy)

Why can you only operate appliances like the television and DVD player from a distance?
Ans: Because of the remote control

Why did the frog go to the hospital?
Ans: For a hop-peration. (operation)

13/6/06

Went on an outing with MM and ZN after mediquiz. Had lunch at some pizza place at Wisma. It was not really worth it. $13++ for a huge plate with a small serving of pasta. And they were really stingy with the garnishing too.

Then watched She's the man. Very funny. Just my kind of movie.

Just to share an incredible tale, sighted Utt near the Sommerset MRT. ZN was ambivalent about approaching him. Wasted an opportunity there to get an autograph.

Joke:

Why did the cream cry?
It was whipped by the chef.

What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?
Milk and a mop and a bucket.

7/6/06

Yesterday went to the NUS Wellness center for my chronically red right eye and got diagnosed with tired eyes. I was so scared it might be retinal detachment or uveties.The doctor was nice and we had a discussion on ethics. Thank goodness there are still doctors around who believe in being ethical.

Well but there was just one part....
Dr: " people may want to clone people like Faye Wone and Jay Chou and...."
Me: " And Sun Yan Zi"
Dr :" I think one of her is enough"

>>>>> explosion+ zha diao+shao diao<<<<<<<

Jokes

What did one eye say to the other?
Ans: There's something between us that smells

Why did the blond put objects in her eye?
Ans: She read that the eye could accomodate

2/6/06

Mediquiz final selection test. As usual only one person passsed. The rest all failed. But some failed more gloriously than others.

Saw the new baby today and she was perpetually hungry. Her tongue was sticking out all the time and she was taking great joy in consuming bits of her bootie and the cloth that was used to wrap her

Bought Han Wu Da Di. Its a nice historical show about one of the greatest emperors ever. But must censor some digusting scenes before showing your young relatives who may be interested in watching.

Jokes:

If the crown prince's parents died, what does he become?
Ans: An orphan

What movie starring Nicole Kidman did Daisy the cow watch?
Ans: The udders (The Others)

1/6/06

My cousin gave birth to a baby girl on 1/6/06. Yay, there's a new addition to the family. The baby is so small but very cute. However my mother added that I was an ugly baby with a distorted head and swollen lips. "See, her head shape very nice and her lips so cute, not like yours, last time so ugly!"

The nurses also allowed me into the delivery suite (for fathers only) after I flashed my matric card.
Before: Who are you, you don't look familiar? This is for fathers only, you cannot go in. Please wait outside

>>>>> Flash matric card and explain>>>>>>>

After: Orrh, u medical student, then can lah. Next time must give us more business

( 2 ways to give business to delivery suite : My personal business or my patient's business as a gynae. But I don't want to be a gynae, so .....)

Jokes:

Why did the blond foetus wrap its ears round the unbilical cord?
Ans: It thought that it was a telephone cord

Why was the blond postwoman always found at the delivery suite?
Ans: She was told by her boss to make deliveries