Jokes

Alright, if I wait for an exciting day B4 I update this blog, it can very well shut down. So here are some jokes while waiting for an exciting thing to happen.

A woman in a restaurant farted loudly just as the waiter was approachingher table. Knowing that everyone in the restaurant must have heard the noise, she desperately tried to save face by telling the waiter:" Stop that!"
The waiter said:" Sure, which direction did it go?"

A judge told a double homicide defendent :" You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out :" You beast"
The judge continued :" you are also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The same voice called out :" You heartless scum."
The judge stopped and told the man who had been yelling out :" I understand your anger and fustrations at these crimes, but any more outbursts and I will have to charge you with contempt."
The man stood up and snarled :" For 15 years, I have lived next to him and everytime I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he did not have one."