Like always

Yes, if i have to wait until i leave the house for an activity before I update, I would have to wait for quite a long time.

I was jogging today when I saw someone dash across the road and received loud warning horns (not those on the unicorn) from the 963 bus. This reminded me of one incident that I had witnessed days ago

It was before Sam's party and I was going to Orchard to get a gift. However 700 terminated at Newton so I had to jaywalk to get to the train. (anyone want to watch the curse of the golden flower? pls ask me along) I waited on the curb, watching this woman dash across the road into the path of cars that had started to move.

Jokes:

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees the man crying on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."The blonde says, "Don't worry."

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. A metre away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, it hops down the road another metre, turns and waves, hops another metre, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until it hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."

Christmas party

Felt quite bad abt missing MDC's party

Went to Sam's party and enjoyed myself. My usual bunch of friends were there too, mm, sk, aaron, joanne etc......
Played uno (which I won quite glamourously - and sk has this concept of taking more cards even if he has the same number/colour just to get cards of the same number to end the game in style???)
Twister was the most interesting with lots of compromising positions and squealing. The eventual winner of my round was mm but not after everyone else gave up willingly. (sk gave up after he had to get very close to me to get to the next colour. Why? Get close to me will die meh?)

We sang carols and I was saboed to sing solo but fortunately I did not. mm was laughing at some word in the lyrics that sounded vulgar. Tsk tsk.
Resident evil was fun to watch and we saw King of Violent Playstation Games (aaron) slay zombies and collect gans...err guns. Obviously we stayed till quite late and either missed or almost missed the last train home.

Jokes:

A woman with cerebral palsy was talking to her friend at a party :" Do u know what is the hardest activity for a person with cerebral palsy?"
" Errm, sewing?" ventured the friend
"No, its plucking your eyebrows"
"Really?"
"Yah, that's how I got pierced ears."

Why did the compulsive gambler put his head in the toilet bowl and ask the Queen to pull the lever?
Ans: he wanted a royal flush

What kind of mite can't make you itch?
Ans: Dyna-mite, it hurts you very badly instead

stranger than everything else

On Sunday went on a mini class gathering with ZN, MM and LCM. Stopped by Settler's cafe where we played Loco (sounds like loc-kok and was quite loc-kok too) and St Petersburg, a game where u win by accumulating fame points. I had lots of money but the game ended before I could buy any fame ~#%*. LCM also made a last ditch attempt not to be last by amassing nobles fervently but still......

Then there was this absolutely confusing movie - Stranger than fiction - where an author was writing about this person and she wanted to kill him off without realising that he was a real person. Strange right?

Jokes

A doctor informed his patient that he had a very bad case of HAGS
" What's HAGS?" asked the patient
"Oh, its a combination of herpes, aids, gonorrhoea and syphilis. The only cure is total isolation and a strict diet of pancakes and bacon." explained the doctor.
" But why pancakes and bacon?" asked the patient
"Well, it's the only food that we can slide under the door."

Which bacteria is very strict?
Ans: Bacillus cereus (serious)!

Stalker

One of my friends has a stalker. His name starts with Aa. Can U guess who?

Apparently this saga with the security guard (of a certain race) at Buona Vista MRT began months ago and I witnessed 3 occasions where the security man singled my friend out just to check his bag. And probably to check him out as well.

My trusted source said that he was targeted again today and there was another witness. Gosh, please do my friend a favour and listen out for any suspicious noises or whimpering cries for help as you walk past doors at train stations that are for "Staff Admittance Only"

Jokes:

A security guard approached a spiritual medium who was behaving suspiciously and said:" I would like to request a search." The medium unleashed ghosts and said:" Go ahead, do some soul searching."

Weekend food fest

On friday, went for a wedding dinner and stuffed myself like crazy. There were 2 youngsters at my table who attacked the food too and were matching my pace. I am proud to annouce that towards the 9th and 10th dish, I had 3 and 2 helpings respectively while they managed only one serving each.

Today, went back to Bukit Batok (where I used to stay) for its oyster omelette and fried prawn noodles. Needless to say, I ate a lot. Then I visited my old home where I walked up and down familiar stairs and corridors. Yes, those were the stairs that gave me the phobia of tumbling down.

Jokes:

A club was looking to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. The committee decided to use hypnosis. After extensive publicity, the first meeting of the month was packed with people.The hypnotist produced a pocket watch and began chanting :" watch the watch, watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesemerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch's every move until suddenly the hyptonist's fingers slipped and the watch fell to the floor.

"Shit!" exclaimed the hyptonist
It took 3 weeks to clean up the venue.